Choose Wisely
Sheree Morris
A few months back I had a really tricky conversation where, after the event, I was saddened by my spoken words and realised that I could have handled things a whole lot better. I was challenged to reflect and to seek how the scenario could have been avoided. I was drawn to look at Proverbs.
Death and Life are in the power of the tongue.
(Proverbs 18:21, AMP)
This is a strong, bold statement from King Solomon... death and life? Our words have power, and we should guard carefully how we use that power.
Whoever guards his mouth and his tongue keeps his soul from troubles.
(Proverbs 21:23, AMP)
Words can build people up or they can tear people down and once spoken they cannot be retracted. Our words can give encouragement, support and blessings to people but from the same mouth we can damage a person’s inner being, by being harsh, hurting people or pulling them down.
Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire… (it) sets the whole course of one’s life on fire.
(James 3:5-6)
Last year, a tiny spark, set on fire Fylingdales Moor, causing massive damage to the area and ecosystem. The flames took hold, jumping massive, motorway-sized fire-breakers and destroying everything in its path. It was totally out of control. Just like that tiny spark, we need to remember how powerful our words can be.
Let everyone be quick to hear, a careful and thoughtful listener, but slow to speak, a speaker of carefully chosen words.
(James 1:19, AMP)
If we have Jesus at the centre of all our conversations and have a humble heart, then that is one way we can guard our mouths. Colossians 4:6 suggests we speak to people with grace and life-giving words and if we do this then we can avoid some of the pitfalls of potential damage.
I know for myself, I don’t intend to hurt people with my words. It’s usually when I’m in a defensive position and my emotions are running high. I realise that I need to take a breath, listen to people more effectively and have more self-control. I can learn from Jesus’ example: He was patient, and He spoke with love, gentleness and compassion.
A soft and gentle and thoughtful answer turns away wrath but harsh and painful and careless words stir up anger.
(Proverbs 15:1, AMP)
God wants us to grow and refine the way we speak to each other. When we communicate with care, wisdom and self-control, then we create space for peace, growth and connections. We show people that they matter and this builds trust and intimacy in all our relationships.
He who controls his lips and keeps thoughtful silence is wise’
(Proverbs 10:19, AMP)
We should all want our words to glorify the Father; to follow in the footsteps of Jesus as to how He handled tension, and to become wise enough to handle situations graciously and kindly; to speak words which edify others, bring encouragement, healing and build each other up.
By God’s grace, we can all be re-shaped and transformed by His love for us and we can learn to use our words to bring life and not death.
Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to bones.
(Proverbs 16:24)
