Comfort In Mourning

Louise Harris

The past week has been a time of sadness and reflection for me.

I attended the funeral of my next-door neighbour who sadly died of cancer at the age 59. We and another neighbour had cancer at the same time, we shared our stories, fears and challenges, encouraging and spurring each other on through the journey.

I feel incredibly sad that only two out of the three of us have survived that journey, and it's hard to get my head around why her and not us. In the midst of grief and sadness though, what a legacy of love and positivity she left her friends and family.

The opening song at her funeral was “Walking on Sunshine” – that pretty much summed up her attitude to life, and it was a privilege to be able to celebrate that. I will endeavour to honour her by supporting her family in whatever way I can.

Another friend has lost her son in the past week in a freak accident. It seems that he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. They are a family of great faith but what a challenge to wrestle with the whys and wherefores.

In these very difficult circumstances what can we as mere friends and neighbours do to help? I'm immediately drawn to the simple instruction in Romans 12:15 - “comfort those who mourn” or “mourn with those who mourn”.

It’s about loving with empathy.

Sometimes it's just a case of standing alongside, whether physically, emotionally, in spirit or in prayer. We need to hold up those who are struggling with grief in whatever way we can. It's a question of being bold at times, as so often it's easier to back off rather than risk saying the wrong thing. We don't have the answers, but we can always show that we care, and that we hurt for them.

One of my dearest friends lost her son in very tragic circumstances a number of years ago and she takes comfort in the fact that we always talk about him when we get together, we're not embarrassed or awkward, it helps to keep the memories alive. It's such a small offering in a sea of pain but it means something and it's worth doing.

Jesus said that those who mourn will be comforted. Whilst there is no comfort comparable to that which God delivers directly, we as his people can play our part. Let's be brave and wrap our arms (physically or figuratively) around the people about us who are hurting - that's our calling as followers of Jesus.

The Lord is near to the broken hearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18